Key Points
- Biblical hope does not require people who are suffering to pretend that everything is okay.
- Grief, fear, laughter, gratitude, and hope can exist in the same difficult season.
- Humor can offer moments of relief without minimizing the seriousness of illness or treatment.
- Hurting people often need faithful presence more than perfect advice or attempts to fix their suffering.
- Christians are called to mourn and rejoice with one another while remembering the whole person beyond a diagnosis.
What Happened After Alex Reddington Found a Lump?
Alex Reddington, a 26-year-old swimmer, was training for an open-water 10K when she discovered what she believed was “a muscle knot” in her chest. Finding out that the lump was cancer, Reddington began sharing the difficult and sometimes unexpectedly humorous parts of chemotherapy online. Instead of being “positive” all the time, Reddington chose to be honest. Her actions show that sometimes, those who are suffering don’t need to be told to “just stay positive” but to acknowledge, “this is really hard, and you’re not alone.”
Because maybe hope isn’t pretending the glass is always half full; it’s being honest about how empty the glass can feel while still believing better is yet to come. And if we can live with this integrity, what does it look like to hold onto hope and find authentic moments of joy without pretending suffering isn’t painful?
Why Doesn’t Christian Hope Require Us to Pretend?
In Psalm 34:18, we’re told that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. What I love about this passage is that Christian hope isn’t denial. Scripture permits us to acknowledge the pain. To acknowledge and not dismiss the sucky parts of life. How do we know? Because the Bible is full of those who cried, lamented, questioned, doubted, and grieved. Look at Job, Elisha, and David as a few examples.
Sometimes, we tend to believe that hope exclusively exists apart from suffering. That we can only have hope when life is good, and everything goes according to plan. But being hopeful isn’t the absence of emotion or pretending treatment isn’t awful; hope can still include crying, anger, fear, and doubt. Hope is not believing everything will work out exactly as we want; rather, biblical hope learns to coexist with grief. Remember, two things can be true at once.
You and I can say “I’m scared and I trust God.” “This hurts, and God is with me.” “I don’t know what will happen next, but God is my Rock.” These statements don’t ignore suffering or hardship, but they allow us to look to the Light within them.
How Can Laughter Become Mercy in the Middle of Suffering?
Beyond acknowledging the reality of a situation, Proverbs 17:22 reminds us that laughter can also help us through tough times: “A cheerful heart is good medicine…” (NIV). While this verse doesn’t suggest that laughter can literally cure cancer or replace medical treatment, it does say that it can provide emotional and relational relief during tough times.
For Reddington, this is one of the many reasons she’s chosen to use humor when sharing about her cancer online. In a message to her haters, Reddington explained, “Obviously I am grateful to be done with cancer treatment. Chemo as hell. It’s a joke. I use humor to cope and to try to make other people laugh.”
Sometimes, a funny moment during a difficult day can give someone the space and room they need to breathe. It doesn’t take away the pain or change the situation, but it’s a gentle form of mercy in the best way. Humor reminds us that no matter how difficult our illnesses are, those diagnoses don’t erase who we are: our personality, our quirks, or our identity. A diagnosis can describe what’s happening to us, but it will never define the entirety of who we are.
Why Do Hurting People Need Presence More Than Perfect Answers?
As Reddington has gotten more comfortable with sharing her story with others, it’s become clear that people need more than information online; they need presence. We don’t just need to know the symptoms of cancer, but that you’re going to walk through the journey with us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says it this way: “God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble…” (NIV).
When someone is seriously ill, from chronic illness to trauma to cancer, people often don’t know what to say. We may freeze, struggle to find the right words, or feel pressure to give the best advice possible. As Christians, that burden can feel even more daunting—we want to find the right Bible verse, offer the best medical option, and say something inspirational. The truth is that while these things might be helpful, sometimes the most meaningful action is saying “I’m here.”
From online Instagram accounts to Facebook support groups, online communities like Reddington’s have provided a version of this presence. We can comment encouragement, share our own experiences, check in on friends, and even pray for strangers. But no matter how we interact or show up, the key point is this: we don’t need to fix suffering to faithfully sit with someone through it.
What Does It Mean to Weep and Rejoice Together?
In Romans 12:15, Scripture tells us to meet people where they are: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (NIV). This passage isn’t a “glass half full” mantra that sounds good but isn’t practical. Instead, it’s the reality that we don’t have to choose between mourning and rejoicing—there is a time and season for both, and good Christian communities should make time and space for both.
If you or someone you know is going through chemotherapy, a difficult health diagnosis, or troubling life events, they might need time to grieve, cry, and process. But they also might laugh at something stupid, celebrate a small milestone, or mourn a setback. They can dread the next appointment while being thankful for the small steps of progress that might be happening. Multiple experiences can exist in the same season. And that’s why faithfulness doesn’t have to look like always seeing the glass as half full. Faithfulness can look like crying and laughing together. Rejoicing and mourning together. Grieving and celebrating together.
Instead of reducing them to their diagnoses or symptoms, see beyond “she’s a cancer patient, or he’s sick.” See the whole person and the full range of who they are. Get to know them and their favorite songs. Listen to them share their dreams and pay attention to what makes them annoyed. Learn about the person who loves their family, creates with their mind, and hopes without end. Because those facing illness don’t stop being themselves, and we’re called to help them care for their health without forgetting to care for who they really are.
How Can We Offer Honest Hope to Someone Who Is Suffering?
I don’t know what you’re walking through today or the people who might be walking through life right alongside you, but I do know a few things we can do to learn about those who are suffering.
-
Be honest. If you’re talking to someone who is hurting, encourage them to be honest about their suffering. Let them know they don’t have to pretend. No toxic positivity here. Be honest with them about where you’re at, too.
-
Give permission. Instead of staying serious, help them laugh. Share a funny video, and experience a joyful moment together. Remember, a moment of joy doesn’t mean they’re no longer sick. But they still deserve to smile and laugh.
-
Show up. Wanting to say the right words is great, but don’t let it stop you from being there for someone in need. You don’t need the perfect words. Simple phrases like “I’m thinking about you,” “I’m here,” or “Do you want to talk about something completely unrealted to _____?” are all great ways to open the conversation.
-
Remember the person. At the end of the day, even those who are suffering just want to be known and loved. Not for their problems or diagnoses, but for who they are at their core. Remember them. Ask about their life, not just their treatment. Invest in them as a whole.
While these four steps won’t solve everything in our conversations with those who are hurting, they remind us that hope can be honest. The glass doesn’t always have to be half full, nor should it be. But it can say, “This is hard, but this also isn’t all there is.” There can still be laughter, friendship, beauty, joy, meaningful moments, and the presence of God even in the pain. Not because the suffering has disappeared, but because they remind us of God’s mercy in the middle of it.
A Prayer for Hope in the Middle of Suffering
Dear Jesus, please be with every person who is walking through illness, suffering, treatment, uncertainty, and pain. For those who are weary and tired of fighting, please let them know they don’t have to pretend to be okay. Give them permission to feel whatever they’re feeling and share that with someone they trust. Thank you for the people you’ve placed in my life, and help me to be someone who helps others faithfully walk through difficult seasons. We will hold onto hope without minimizing our pain. We love, praise, thank, and trust you, Lord. Amen.
Agape, Amber
Frequently Asked Questions about Hope, Cancer, and Suffering
- Does Christian hope mean staying positive all the time?
No. Biblical hope allows Christians to acknowledge grief, fear, disappointment, and pain while continuing to trust in God’s presence and promises. - Can Christians laugh while going through suffering?
Yes. Moments of laughter and joy do not minimize suffering. They can provide relief, connection, and reminders that illness does not define the entirety of a person. - What should I say to someone going through cancer treatment?
You do not need perfect words. Listen, acknowledge that what they are experiencing is difficult, offer practical support, and remind them that they do not have to walk through it alone. - What does Romans 12:15 teach us about supporting someone who is suffering?
Romans 12:15 calls Christians to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, making room for both joy and grief within faithful community. - Where can Christians find hope during serious illness?
Christian hope rests ultimately in God’s presence and promises, not in pretending that treatment or suffering is easy or guaranteeing a particular earthly outcome.
For Further Reading
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/gorodenkoff
Originally published September 29, 2026.
