Jelly Roll’s wife, Bunnie Xo, opened up about reclaiming control over her life after struggling with suicidal ideation, and why she and her husband continue speaking out about their Christian faith despite the pushback they receive online.
Bunnie Xo, whose real name is Alisa DeFord, promoted her memoir Stripped Down Unfiltered and Unapologetic during an interview on SiriusXM’s “The Nikki & Brie Show” that aired on Monday. The book addresses her time as a sex worker, her battle against drug addiction and her eventual marriage to singer Jelly Roll in 2016.
During the interview, Bunnie Xo said that when she started dating Jelly Roll, she made a conscious decision about what she wanted in a relationship, explaining that she had dated many bad men before meeting her husband.
Yet, she made it clear that she and her husband have faced many challenges that have threatened their marriage.
“Relationships are not easy. In the beginning, it was very rough. We were very toxic, and I did lose myself in the beginning of that relationship,” Bunnie Xo said. “And that’s why, when I hit rock bottom, in my book, I write about [what happened] after I discovered my husband had an affair on me for 10 months.
“I was holding a bottle of pills, and I was just like, ‘I could just kill myself right now and not have to feel this pain, because I’m just so tired of feeling so much pain through my life,’” she added.
When the couple met, the host of the “Dumb Blonde” podcast was working as an escort in Las Vegas and a heavy drug user. Both Jelly Roll and his wife have been open about their past struggles with addiction and other issues that have impacted their lives.
The 46-year-old recounted that she was holding a bottle of pills when something inside of her screamed, “‘What the f— are you doing? Over a guy? No, we’re not doing this.’”
After putting the pill bottle down, the podcast host and author decided to build her own brand so she wouldn’t be seen only as Jelly Roll’s wife, believing she was “meant for more than that.”
“That’s what I felt, and that’s no shade to anybody who wants to just be a wife. I love that for people. But I think my trauma alone would not allow me to just kind of be in the house and not become who I am,” she continued. “So I did lose myself, and I don’t want people to think I’m always just this strong woman who forges through the fire unsinged because I really have put my hand on the stove and been burned multiple times, and you lose pieces of yourself along the way, but then you pick back up, and you just become stronger.”
Bunnie Xo conceded that she and her husband are “baby Christians,” evidenced by her Instagram account, where she continues to periodically post sexualized images of herself after closing her OnlyFans account in 2023.
“I grew up in a rock and roll lifestyle. Then my parents, I think my dad got caught in an affair, and they all of a sudden became super, super Southern Pentecostal, and it was almost cult-like, and so I had a lot of religious trauma growing up,” Bunnie Xo recalled.
“And then my husband also grew up in a Methodist household, so I don’t want to say he had religious trauma because his parents didn’t force it on him like us, but he did know who God was. But you know, we’ve gotten away from Him for so long, so we’re trying to come back into it,” she said. “So, whenever I talk about God, I never want people to feel like I’m shoving it down their throats. I’m just trying to express the journey that we’re going through.”
Speaking about God online has been “crazy,” she added, describing how they’ve received “so much hate for it,” even from Christians.
“And I’m like, how are we allowed to grow in our faith when people are literally persecuting us for trying to be baby Christians?” Bunnie Xo asked.
During an episode of her “Dumb Blonde” podcast last month, the influencer defended her husband’s decision to share the Gospel during the Grammy Awards after some critics accused him of using religion to try to grow his brand.
“The problem is that people are weaponizing the Bible and religion way more than they are celebrating the name of Jesus,” she said at the time. “And it’s to the point where they’re just proving why people do not want to be a Christian.”
Bunnie Xo said she’s striving to “turn the other cheek” in response to critics, but asked, “In what world is it OK to ever question somebody’s walk with God?”
Samantha Kamman is a reporter for The Christian Post. She can be reached at: [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter: @Samantha_Kamman
