More young men view former President Barack Obama as a role model than religious leaders, the pope, President Donald Trump and Elon Musk, according to a new report from the Institute for Family Studies.
But he isn’t ranked higher than their parents, whom they see as their most influential examples.
The report, “America’s Demoralized Men, Part 1: Worthy Aspirations, Trying Circumstances,” by Joseph E. Davis, Michael Toscano and Ken Burchfiel, presents findings from a YouGov survey of 2,000 U.S. men ages 18 to 29 conducted between April 7 and 15, 2025.
It paints a stark picture of young men today grappling to find their place in a social culture where masculinity has been branded as “toxic,” and the shifting economy is making it more difficult for them to meet traditional hallmarks of adulthood.
Contrary to the portrait of “toxic masculinity” portrayed in popular media, researchers found that most young men see manhood as a role of responsibility, leadership, sacrifice and strength.
“Assuredly, manhood and masculinity have become highly charged issues. In academia, popular media, the entertainment industry, and society at large, the commentary is often highly unsympathetic and disparaging,” researchers state. “Although critics typically state that men and male attributes are not the problem, all the arguments against the ‘myth of manhood’ or ‘traditional masculine ideology,’ in the words of the American Psychological Association, have little redeeming to say about men or masculinity.”
Researchers highlighted specific statements that were presented to respondents in the study about manhood, inclding “being a man requires a willingness to sacrifice for others” and “manhood involves strength, responsibility, and leadership.”
The report found that 89% of young men endorsed the first statement, while 85% endorsed the second. Religious and conservative men were also more likely to support both statements than secular or liberal men.
The report points to social influencer Andrew Tate, whose rise in popularity has fed into the “toxic masculinity” narrative. It shows that when Tate was presented on a list of role models, including prominent figures from the worlds of tech, politics, entertainment and religion, he was the least selected option by men in the study. Only 31% of respondents selected him.
Among a list of 15 choices, when asked who they look up to “a good amount/great deal,” the most popular choice among young men is their mother. Some 79% of young men selected their mother, followed by 69% who chose their father. Another 57% chose “a coach/teacher.”
That choice was followed by Obama and NBA star LeBron James, who are both held in high esteem by 54% of young men. Every other choice on the list received less than 50% support, including a “leader of your religious congregation” at 46%, Trump at 42% and Musk at 45%.
As they look to a variety of role models, however, IFS researchers found that young men today are grappling with self-esteem issues, with some 46% of young men ages 18–23 inclined to think they are a failure, while 38% of men ages 24–29 say the same. Only 32% of young men rejected that assessment of themselves.
“The sense of being a failure is one measure of a more general — and frankly heartbreaking — demoralization. As we analyzed the results of the survey, what stood out was not indifference or a lack of worthy aspirations but the trying circumstances facing today’s young men,” researchers note. “Their ambiguous and socially marginal position is taking a heavy toll on them. Young men are not where they want to be, often feel trapped, and are unsure of what to do. At least in the near term, they are not optimistic that things will get much better.”
Researchers suggest that many young men are souring on the benefits of a college education as they face diminishing opportunities in a contracting job market.
“Young men view college with a great deal of ambivalence. Young men who have not gone to college or dropped out before graduating are the most skeptical of its value. But even among young men who are attending college or have a degree, half either strongly (17%) or somewhat (34%) agree that college is not worth the time or money,” researchers state.
A majority of young men, 59%, are also struggling to find romantic partners, but most are open to dating and desire to get married and have children, the survey shows.
Data from the 2002 General Social Survey show that large shares of men previously ranked the following as “extremely important hallmarks of adulthood”: educational completion at 65%, working full time at 55%, financial independence at 48%, and being able to support a family at 48%. Only 13% and 9% said the same about getting married and having a child, respectively.
When IFS researchers asked young men in the 2025 survey what milestones they consider important for defining adulthood, by contrast, 53% ranked financial independence from their parents as an extremely important benchmark of adulthood, while 39% said being able to “provide for others” qualified as well. Only 31% said educational completion and 34% said working full-time are extremely important hallmarks.
“Since financial self-sufficiency remains central to these men, the revised assessments of education and work, which are also found in other research, suggest changes in the nature of the labor market,” the researchers note.
Compared to 2002, more young men ranked having a child and getting married as hallmarks of adulthood. In 2025, 25% of young men said having a child is extremely important to becoming an adult, compared to 9% in 2002. Some 22% of young men also believe getting married is extremely important to becoming an adult, compared to 13% in 2002.
“Researchers have observed that once young adults take on social roles, like spouse and parent, they are more likely to incorporate these into their conception of adulthood,” the study notes.
Still, more than half of young men said getting married and having children was either “somewhat/not too/not at all important.”
“Young men are not apathetic. Rather than easy accommodation to their circumstances, our findings suggest that young men’s hopes are being frustrated. For instance, they want a job that provides them with an adequate standard of living,” the researchers note.
“When asked about their most significant challenge in life so far, many young men’s answers concern money and finding a good job. The same concerns play a role in some men’s hesitancy toward pursuing marriage. We find that young men care about their status, want to contribute, and are distressed by the gap between their current circumstances and what they really desire for their life.”
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