Recently, a clip of a woman at a San Francisco Giants game went viral. Navigating her way back to her seat while carrying a young baby and a handful of food for her husband, the TV announcers labeled her “mom of the year,” and predicted that she would “be the last one to eat.” They also put words in the husband’s mouth like “did you bring the ketchup?” and “my burgers’ cold—how long did it take you?”
Though what they said was in good fun, what followed online was a torrent of criticism, including direct messages to the wife that she should divorce her husband and to the husband that he should take his own life.
The wife, Erika, responded with a long post on her Substack, praising her husband as someone who loves and cares for her and the kids, and who sacrifices for the family. The post revealed a wife and mother not only content in her marriage but also blessed by her husband. She ended with, “Thank you for dubbing me ‘mom of the year,’” but “[p]lease believe me when I tell you I can only be so with the dad sitting next to me.”
In another Substack post, self-described Marxist and atheist Freddie DeBoer wrote about what should be obvious but is no longer in a social media world:
For the record, saying that a stranger whose life you know nothing about should divorce their spouse is weird and stupid and low character. Saying that a happy family unit should be ripped apart by divorce, and a very young child denied the very many and real benefits that come from a stable two-parent household, based on whim? Yeah, you’re a bad person if you engage that way, as thousands did.
He’s exactly right. The temptation to overreact and extrapolate from unknown facts is so strong online, but it must be avoided. But the sheer insanity of the vitriolic comments aimed at this couple exposes a widely held assumption about married women that is simply not true.
A new report released by the Institute for Family Studies is titled “The Devout Difference: Religion, Marital Quality, and Sex Among Americans.” Among its key findings are that “married men and women who most fully embrace the classic beliefs and practices of Protestant and Catholic Christianity—including the conviction that marriage is a lifelong commitment, ‘till death do us part’—enjoy the happiest marriages in America.”
The report also included another key finding: “Religious couples enjoy significantly more sex, and more sexual satisfaction, than their secular peers.” Put differently, the more religiously devoted one is, the higher the levels of reported sexual satisfaction.
The late scholar Michael Uhlmann once gave the following advice to young people:
Saving the Republic will not be easy. You will need allies and inspiration. Start with the Biblical injunction to increase and multiply. Get married and have children—in that order.
In other words, marriage and procreation are essentials for the health, well-being, and recovery of any society. Christians understand why, because it was part of God’s created intent for human beings to fulfill the essential purpose of their existence. But He is also kind. So, marriage is a gift that enables sexual satisfaction at such high levels. A covenantal marriage under God brings God joy and literally brings new life into the world.
The idea that marriage is bad for women is another “Zombie Idea” that should have died long ago, but keeps rising back from the dead and walking around without a soul. But we keep hearing it, including that marriage ruins sex and steals happiness. This report from IFS, which is only the most recent among many others that have preceded it, tells the real story. Married, religious, church-going women are repeatedly the happiest cohort among those studied and tend to be more sexually satisfied.
As Dr. Andrew Walker recently put it, the biblical formula for marital happiness is simple: Husbands love their wives, and wives love and respect their husbands. This is a conception of marital happiness that goes beyond what C.S. Lewis called “four bare legs in a bed.” Christians understand that marriage is a sacred thing given by God to His image bearers. That understanding affirms its purpose and enables a kind of fulfillment to marriage and sex that those outside of Christianity cannot fully comprehend.
But it’s still true, and it’s a truth our culture needs to hear. Christians should spread this good news and let their marriages speak loudly of the goodness and greatness of God.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Vasil Dimitrov
John Stonestreet is President of the Colson Center for Christian Worldview, and radio host of BreakPoint, a daily national radio program providing thought-provoking commentaries on current events and life issues from a biblical worldview. John holds degrees from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (IL) and Bryan College (TN), and is the co-author of Making Sense of Your World: A Biblical Worldview.
The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily reflect those of CrosswalkHeadlines.
BreakPoint is a program of the Colson Center for Christian Worldview. BreakPoint commentaries offer incisive content people can’t find anywhere else; content that cuts through the fog of relativism and the news cycle with truth and compassion. Founded by Chuck Colson (1931 – 2012) in 1991 as a daily radio broadcast, BreakPoint provides a Christian perspective on today’s news and trends. Today, you can get it in written and a variety of audio formats: on the web, the radio, or your favorite podcast app on the go.
